Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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