apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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