this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
