She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
