He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
