saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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