My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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