i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
