end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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