mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
