THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
