taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
