Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(225): View more from Louisiana

Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....

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(816): View more from Missouri

and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.

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(602): View more from Arizona

Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.

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(317): View more from Indiana

Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.

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(916): View more from California

10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.

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