i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
