Where did you get a picture of my penis
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
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