Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
