So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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