I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
