I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize