Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
