Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
