so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
