Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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