Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
