that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
