I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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