i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
