so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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