I can feel you judging me through the phone.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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