I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
