dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i think i have two assholes
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I said "one day" and that day is not today
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
