soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize