Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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