OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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