I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
It's shark week go big or go home
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize