Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
