Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
