don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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