Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
