I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
