Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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