where am i from again
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
