lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
