I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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