I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
He better not be in your backpack
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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