im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
