You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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