ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Randomize
