Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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