I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
handjob tips. give me some.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize