Need sex. Gaining weight.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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