I seem to have left my pride at pride
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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