Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
i think my cat just said my name.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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