They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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