If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
