Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Randomize
