i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
