Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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