I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
