I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
