LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
