Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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