This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I had to cum in my sink.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
